Raising kids in this modern world can be especially challenging. Kids are more independent and stubborn now than it was decades ago. Parents with poor boundaries are struggling to raise kids nowadays. That’s why parents need to get control of training and teaching their kids the right path. Setting rules is important in disciplining your kids. Especially with moms, they have more time to spend with their kids in a normal setting. So moms need to establish boundaries.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean that you are caging your kids. Establishing limitations are actually good for them. They may even feel secure and loved if there are certain limitations to them. Households that don’t have any boundaries and limitations can create poorly behave and rebel kids. But remember, that setting boundaries don’t mean that your kids will not push to their limit, because they will for some time. But it is part of their learning process. Even when at first they will be annoyed with these boundaries, they will eventually feel safe and secure. But how can moms do it?
In order for parents, moms, in particular, to set appropriate boundaries, here are 5 ways moms can establish boundaries:
You should be trustworthy
This is an important factor when you are establishing boundaries. Kids need to know that they can trust you. When you set boundaries, you need to be clear about it. When the time comes, make sure that you don’t fail to accomplish it. When your words don’t match your actions, your kids will not trust you anymore. Your discipline will then mean nothing to them because they can’t count on you. So, before setting any boundaries, make sure that you are able to deliver. This is an important factor in setting up the boundaries you have. When you master being trustworthy, your discipline will be effective.
Remember that less is more
This is another important factor in setting boundaries. Making rules doesn’t mean that you have to create a long list of dos and dont’s. That would be a hassle and so hard to keep up. You might end up night obeying some of the rules. Remember that less is more. You need to make more simple, specific and clear rules that your kids can understand and remember. Five clear rules are better than a list of 20 rules that may cause chaos. You can make few rules that have a wider scope than 20 rules that are hard to keep up. Limiting your rules to fewer ones doesn’t mean that your discipline is light and means nothing. It is how you comply with them that matters.
Be precise in your boundaries
This is important to avoid miscommunication and misunderstandings later on. It would be a frustration when you’re ready to correct your child but he ends up saying it was not his fault because he understands a different thing. Make sure that your rules and boundaries are precise. You can ask your kids to repeat the rules so that you will know they understand it. You can explain further about each rule and boundary so that they will understand it fully and won’t make a miscommunication an alibi. Establishing your boundaries is as good as making them clear and precise. Otherwise, it will not be effective.
Post the rules in a prominent place in the house
When you are finally done with making the rules, it is important to post it in a place visible to your kids. Instead of just hiding it in your notes, you can put it in a prominent place in the house so that kids are reminded always about it. You can make copies of it in the kitchen and in their bedrooms. These are not to make restrictions, but they are just rules that they can live by.
There are times when your kids forget the rules, so it is best when the list comes handy. You don’t have to always get it somewhere, but you can always point it out because it is put in the kitchen or in their bedrooms. This is also a help when parents forget the rules when they are busy with so many things. When it is just posted around, it is accessible anytime.
Make natural consequences
After setting up the boundaries and your kids are now disobeying some of it, it is important to take note of this last suggestion. Try to make more natural consequences. For example, when they hit their sibling, you can call their attention and make them face the wall for some time. Then you will talk to them afterward. Try to make more natural punishments like this. Do not overdo your consequences in a way that your kids are finding it hard to even have fun around. Let them have space and make consequences that make sense. When you do that, they are more likely to understand why they are being punished, not just because it was in the rules. The goal of the boundaries and rules is to help them correct their bad behavior. So when they do show bad behaviors, it is important to direct them properly.
The 5 ways above are just some ways on how moms can establish boundaries with their kids. There are many more ways moms can do that. It is definitely not limited to these 5 ways. However, these 5 basic ways are important factors in setting boundaries and rules for kids. Moms can learn from it and apply it in their household. It will not be easy to start, but it’s going to be lighter and lighter as the years go by. Children, when they are taught well, will definitely become more behaved and well-mannered children. It is challenging but it is definitely worth the effort, patience, and sacrifice.