Difficulty sleeping, refusing to go to sleep, waking up at night, nightmares … Here are some simple rules that enable him to spend quiet nights in the end.
Children’s sleep problems place a great deal of stress on their parents. Once the medical causes have been ruled out, we have to look at the psychological side to understand what is happening.
Don’t Make Him Sleep Too Early!
Around 3 months, a baby starts making real nights. Before that, he sleeps in periods of three to four hours, depending on his inner clock. If your baby sleeps four to five hours in a row between 1 and 2 months, rejoice, it’s already very good! Around 3 months, a child’s life is usually organized at the rate of 10 hours of night sleep and 6 hours for naps in the day. But it can take a lot more time. One word of advice, Be patient and don’t panic!
The first few months are the most gruelling time for a mother. You must be fully available and effective while you are tired, super emotional and frail (physically and psychologically). The problems of the sleep of the newborn child are very often related to the difficulty of his mother to separate from him. In short, the more you fear that something bad will happen to your child if he is no longer in your sight and the less he will sleep because there is a psychic transmission between you and him. He feels your concern and wakes up. For a child to sleep peacefully, his mother must accept to be separated from him without anxiety, so that he can feel safe when he sleeps alone, away from her.
Do Not Feel Guilty
Any mother facing a child who sleeps badly tells herself it’s all her fault! The more you are concerned, the more you want to get him to sleep from the sleep of the righteous, and the less you can. It is a vicious circle, it does not sleep enough, it irritates you, it feels it and does not reassure itself. Result: he sleeps even less! So you feel guilty, you think you’re doing it wrong, you’re convinced you’re a bad mother, you feel even more anxious, and the troubles get worse day after day. Only self-confidence, belief in your abilities to be a good mother can break this infernal spiral. If consulting your pediatrician is not enough, two or three sessions of psychotherapy can help regulate this inadequate effective interaction.
Give Her Clear Timelines
To help your baby differentiate between day and night. Mark these two lifetimes. After feeding on demand for the first few weeks, be sure to keep him waiting between feedings. For 4 months, the goal is to eliminate night feeding. Use fixed rhythms for daily activities, grooming, games, napping, walking… Living in regular cycles allows the baby to acquire emotional security. And it is this basic security that will allow him to sleep well.
Get Him Used To Fall Asleep Alone
The very first time, it is not embarrassing for a baby to fall asleep in his mother’s arms, as he and she are still in a fused relationship. But falling asleep alone, willingly and with confidence, is an indispensable learning process that begins early. It is a mistake to put your child to sleep by rocking him or giving him a pacifier because when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he needs the same means to go back to sleep… Hello, slavery! As soon as your child shows the desire to sleep (yawning, blinking eyelids, rubbing of the eyes, vague look)…), put him in his bed, wish him goodnight. Then turn off the light and go.
Find In His Daily Life What Can Disturb Him
The quality of your child’s sleep reflects the quality of what he or she experiences during the day. Every time he acquires a new skill (weaning, walking, cleanliness, language…), each time an important change occurs in his life (moving, new nanny, entry to crèche…), which is disturbed in the first, it is the sleep.
Don’t Let Yourself Be Manipulated When You Go To Bed
Sleep is a need and should be a pleasure, not a punishment. Between 6 months and 1 year, a baby acquires an adult to sleep with phases of REM sleep in the second part of the night and sleep (that of rest) in the first part of the night… Being able to sleep your child even if he cries after the usual rituals teach him to accept the separation without anxiety, to understand that we are with him, even if we are not at his side. Sleepovers that last forever mean you’re not comfortable with separation. His crying hurts you because you’re having a hard time balancing what he’s feeling with what you’re feeling. Do not hesitate to tell the pediatrician during your child’s consultations.
Don’t Let Him Invest Your Marital Bed
At 15-20 months, it is not uncommon for a child to ask to sleep in the parents ‘ bed or to join them in the middle of the night because he knows how to get out of bed. To help him overcome his fear, the father must play his role as a third party separator in the mother-child merger. After the bedtime ritual, he can say tenderly, but firmly: “Now you sleep in your bed. Your mom and I need to sleep at night. We’re tired, you mustn’t disturb us. We’re next door and we’ll meet again in the morning. »
If It Lasts, Do Not Hesitate To Consult
There are several signs that can alarm you and make you consult your pediatrician. If your child usually sleeps well and wakes up suddenly at night crying, it may be an ear infection or another infantile disease to treat quickly. Even if he has no fever, cold or other symptoms, but sleeps poorly for more than two weeks, it is better to consult. The other indicator is intensity. If you have the impression that he hardly sleeps, if the sleep disorder is accompanied by a lack of appetite, digestive disorders (constipation, diarrhea, regurgitation), a change of character, do not hesitate to ask the advice of a specialist.
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