Breaking up is hard to do. So as a song goes. But breaking up during pregnancy is much, much harder. Pregnancy is a period in a woman’s life wherein she needs to be strong, prepared and well-taken cared of. It is a period when she physically and emotionally needs assistance.
You are once ecstatic over the announcement that you are pregnant. You are already dreaming of how your family will look like – the father, the mother and the baby. A happy family in a wonderful home. A father who is nurturing to the family, a good provider who is always present to assist in everything. But suddenly you wake up from that beautiful dream. Realizing that you and your baby are alone. The father of the baby that you wish you both have is gone. Instead of comforting words and an assisting hand during your pregnancy, the bad news of breaking up suddenly blows upon your face.
As much as we want to save the relationship, some things are beyond our control. If break-up during pregnancy happens, what can a woman do?
How to deal with it
Feeling sad is normal. Give yourself a moment to grieve. No matter how you and your partner ended the relationship, it will still be painful. Although your mind fully understands that breaking up is what should be done ad you should get up and move on, your emotions need some time to cope up. Give yourself enough time to let your feelings out. It’s not bad to cry. Although some women may seem calm and strong after a break-up during pregnancy, that doesn’t mean that they do not feel anything. People have different ways of coping up. It is your choice on how you will do it. But do not go overboard. Pregnancy hormones can make emotions intense and family and friends can help.
Pick up and move on. In the meantime, clear your mind of all the reminders about your relationship. If you like, you can move to another house or another place. You can even keep away all the things he has given you as well as photos of you together. You can throw it or put it in a box to stay in the basement.
Breaking up can be stressful. Pregnancy even contributes to the rising of stress hormones that may cause harm to you physically and emotionally. Always remember that help is just out there. Rech out for a family or a friend or there are even medical professional can assist you.
Breakups can happen even during pregnancy. Don’t sulk thinking that yours is a one in a million case. There are stories of being single during pregnancy. There are also single parents, you might even know some of them. Statistics say that in the US alone, there are 13.7 million single parents. It might not be the ideal situation that you wish for, but hey, it’s not the end of the world.
Don’t be shy to ask for support. Social support and financial support as well can be a great help for single mothers. You can find it from people who are close to you. Always remember that you may be dumped by one, but there are more and more people who love and care for you. Having a baby will undeniably needs a lot of expenses. On this, your family and friends can help. There are even support groups who deal with this matter. You just need to reach out and you can get the support that you need. You can also consider the legal process so the father of your child will also give support.
Believe in yourself. Believe that you are a strong person and you can get through all of these. Aside from your family and friends, draw your strength for that life that is beginning to grow in your womb. Always think that he is cheering you, and he can’t wait to see the world and give his smile to a wonderful woman of strength who endure all the pains. Believe that as the days pass, your concern will be a focus on your baby and not on your estranged partner anymore.
Weigh out options before making decisions. Decision made during high emotions is those you may regret later. The post-breakup period is when emotions are at their peak. Allow some time for the emotions to subside. Weigh your priorities before making a decision. Remember, it’s not only about you anymore. It’s about your baby and you.
It may be difficult on your part but you should also take time to understand your partner. You just need to look at a different perspective to understand his position, to forgive and move on. That will give you peace of mind.
Raise your child in a happy and healthy environment. Focus on what is right, and what makes you and your baby happy. Acceptance is one of the keys to be happy. A positive home, free from stress and conflicts will be beneficial to you and your baby. It will be vital for the baby’s development, in and outside the womb. Negative experiences should not affect your child now and especially in the future.
You might consider talking and communicating with your ex and talk about the baby. But that will depend upon your situation.
A final reminder
Breaking up during pregnancy may not be common. But if it happens, it is vital to be kind to yourself. You deserve to be loved and be taken cared for. And some people are more willing to give that love and care to you. Believe that everything happens for a reason. Life is a journey. You may experience bumps and obstruction. There are crossroads where you need to decide which path to take. Travel can be uphill at times. But worry not, the smooth road is just a few blocks away. You will reach your destination soon. Wait for the coming of the wonderful blessing, the day when your sweet, little baby will be born. Someday, he will be proud of having you as a mother – a model of strength and wisdom, positivity and love. A mother who does not give up for the baby she loves.