Having a baby feels so exciting especially to new parents. You have made all the necessary preparations and you have all the time focused on your first bundle of joy. But another news came positive! You are pregnant with your second child. Despite the good news, you suddenly feel anxious. You are afraid that you won’t love the baby. You started asking yourself if you can give the same attention you give to your firstborn to your second child. You become worried that you might be comparing them with each other.
Having a baby after the first-born can be different, primarily because you are already taking care of an older kid. Some parents assume that the relationship with the first child will be affected after the birth of the second. But do not think that you can’t love them anymore. Always think that parents’ heart is big enough to love all kids. There are just some ways on how to love your baby like a first-time mom.
Spend time with your baby
Some second-time mothers say that “I don’t love my second child as much as my first,” because they don’t feel the bond right away. Don’t be afraid. It is normal. Experts say that if second-time parents assess their feeling, it is not that you can’t love the second baby. It is just that you are afraid of the divided attention that you can give with your firstborn because you have another baby to take care of. Nothing can create that ‘bond’ but by spending more quality time with your baby. Don’t just let the caregiver to the job.
Find ways to connect with your baby.
Think that every person is different, and so are babies. You just can’t look for every trait of your firstborn on the second born. Look, listen, feel and appreciate with your heart, you’ll definitely see something beautiful in them. You can easily see, feel and make that connection.
Don’t be so harsh on yourself.
If you think that you love your first baby more than the second early after childbirth, don’t feel bad and blame yourself. There are millions of mommies (and daddies, as well) in the world who feel the same and it is completely normal. Different emotions are okay. But what you need to do is to understand that every child is different and you can love them all in different ways.
Give time for your baby and yourself to adjust.
If there are occasional mother and baby bonding problems, be calm. Both of you are under the period of transition. Expect that there are adjustments. Also, remember that baby number 1 has spent a lot of time with you that makes the bond stronger. Give baby number 2 a chance. As you bond and spend time together, you can see and feel that bond and it will naturally grow and be nurtured with love.
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Be responsible parents.
As parents, it is your prime duty to take care of your babies. No one can do it more responsibly but you. Always think that taking care of them is more than just giving them their physical or material needs, it goes all along with providing them with all their needs in all aspects of their lives – emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, socially and so on. Babies can sense if you don’t like them and it will definitely affect him and may cause adverse effects later in life. Open your mind and your heart, there is always something there to be loved on your babies. After all, they are mini versions of you and your partner.
Always remember that there are many parents who also passed through the same stage. And their experiences help to teach and guide other parents who are experiencing the same predicament. Don’t feel worried. Parents always have a very big heart that can expand to accommodate not just the first baby, but also the second, the third, the fourth… and so on. You just need to understand yourself and learn these methods on how to love your baby like the first.
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